Yearly

Each year
emotional,
unable to work out
how to celebrate without her
presence.

05/12/2019

Mothers Day Weekend

Activity
taking place today
at East Ridgelawn.

Cars line the
parking area as

People bond with loved ones;
at the plot next to Mom's,
a family redecorates

Their matriarch's resting place,
planting lovely florals.

Across the way, some children
run to greet a relative,
their father keeping watch.

I spend a few moments
with Mom, realigning a brick
that slipped out of place.

I say my prayers for her,
and communicate,

Memories taking me back
to my mom's house,
conversing during visits.

Always soft-spoken,
yet listening to every word.

So valuable were those moments;
fleeting, yet precious.

05/11/2019

Not Quite Easier

This weekend is filled 

with family gatherings;

Saturday with my loved ones,

Sunday with his. 

This weekend will bring

emotions I would rather

not deal with,

Yet I will be in the company 

of loved ones, instead of

being alone.

I did that six years ago, and 

that was a huge mistake.

Mom is no longer with me,

yet being with loved ones 

help during this time of year.

I still think of her every day,

and wish she was still with me,

As I quietly wait for 

Mothers Day to pass once again.

05/09/2019

One Week Away

These few days leading
up to Mother's Day

Are usually approached
with trepidation,

Memories of her love
now takes the place

Of phone calls and visits,
still painful many years later.

Even knowing
that she is never far

Still brings sadness,
since our thread

Of communication
is silent.

05/05/2019

Book Garden

It has
been months since my
creativity sparked
into life, yet last night offered
a spark.

05/04/2019

Her Life

Ten years later, her
memory lives on in my
heart, always thriving.

03/22/2019

Mom's Birthday

Once a
special day for
her, it is now a time
to remember her life, sorrows
and joys.

12/01/2018

Tears

I never thought
we would gather
to reflect on
your death.

Fond memories,
morphing to the
final weeks of
your life.

I knew we were
there to reflect,
yet your loss still
hit hard,

Our reflections
culminating
to the active
free write:

Tear Water Tea,
my memories of you
crashing across my mind
like waves,

Splintering the lock
that held my composure
at bay, my mind
almost breaking.

And then,
the emotions stedied.
my control returned.

I was with my
loving group, yet
I needed to
stay strong.

I know that I
am not alone
in my mourning.

Yet, the tea must
wait for another time.

The tears may flow, alone.

07/29/2018

Beloved Friend

Today
a beloved friend
passed away, no longer
suffering from illness, but missed
by all.

05/28/2018

Closeness

Nine years
later I still
hold your memories close,
always seeing your calm presence
with me.

03/22/2018

Bridge

It's the warmth she offered
as she laid on my lap

Is what I miss the most;
sitting patiently in the kitchen

For a meal or some
petting behind the ear.

She lived a long life,
yet it still wasn't enough,

As I still think of a spirit
youthful and free

On the other
side of the bridge.

1/10/2017

Phone Calls

I miss
the long phone calls,
the frequent pauses, then
continuing to another
topic.

12/30/2016

Wishing

I wish
my mother was
present at this moment,
to comfort me during my hard
struggles.

12/30/2016

Colors

One thing
she enjoyed was
colors all around her,
shades of citrus and lilac, always
in view.

11/05/2016

Her Voice

It is through times of stress
that my fears multiply,

Turning my dreams into
thoughts I don't recognize.

My achievements transform
into moments I can't relive

As I drown in a pool
of relentless doubt.

During these moments, I
long to speak to you

One more time, since you
always had the gift

To relieve my pain, reassure
me that my gifts never left.

You were able to restore my
confidence when I faltered,

The love present in your voice,
and I miss that the most.

09/23/2015